Where I Belong - R.V.Elliott

Chapter 38 

"I didn't do this" I said picking up the shopping I had dropped and made my way through to the kitchen. Why was I even surprised to see they had decorated that as well. "Well whoever did drop me there number. My house is needing a little touch up" Placing the shopping he was carrying onto the counter top he pulled out one of the stools from the breakfast bar. A freaking breakfast bar! 

"Your house is perfect" I muttered folding my hands over my chest. They just didn't know when to stop. What was next? A new car? Why did they feel the need to do stuff for me? I was quite capable of decorating my own house. "Hey what's wrong?" He asked. Shaking my head I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. "This is my dads doing. No matter what I do I can't seem to stop them interfering. The house, the decorating, my life" I muttered picking up the kettle and filling it with water. "What do you take?" I asked searching the cupboards to find some mugs. They had took care of everything. 

"Is that a bad thing? And just milk I'm sweet enough" He grinned. Yes you are. Was it a bad thing? No I guess it wasn't but it would have been nice for them to tell me what they were up to instead of playing dumb. "Not really but it would have been nice to have some input in my own house". Pouring the water into the cups I handed Nate his. "Sorry for moaning" I sighed taking a sip of my coffee. "Its nice" He laughed scratching the back of his head. What was nice? "Having a girl moaning in my ear". Biting my lip I diverted my gaze to the floor to stop myself from laughing. That didn't sound right at all. "And now that I've went over what I just said I am an idiot". Not being able to hold it in any longer the laugh spilled from my lips. 

"Come on" I smiled walking through to the living room and taking a seat on my new couch. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant I've not been around a lot of girls for a long time" He sighed taking a seat next to me. "Why not?" I asked slipping off my shoes and putting my feet under my bum "You're a great guy Nate". I didn't get it, girls must be throwing themselves at him all the time. "Tell you what. I'll ask you something and you answer honestly and I'll do the same". Hm was that a good idea? 

"Okay" I found myself answering. "You go first". 

"What's your full name?" He asked my eyebrows creasing at his question. "Ava Maria Mendez at your service" I grinned taking a sip of my coffee. How was it I felt carefree when I was with him? He made me feel relaxed, made me feel like I didn't have a care in the world. Maybe Nate was the piece that was missing. "I like it" He grinned "Now when did-.." 

"Uh uh" I said cutting him off "Its my turn, why are you single?" I had to know. There was no way he was gay so I'm guessing he's been hurt or he finds it hard to trust anyone. "Broken heart" He muttered "I had been in a relationship for 5 years only to find out she was fucking one of my best friends and the only reason she was with me was for my money". I think my heart just broke, poor Nate. Moving closer I placed my hand on top of his "I'm sorry Nate, that must have been hard to deal with. I'm sorry for asking". How could anyone do that? Money grabbing whore!. Squeezing my hand he gave me a small smile "Worst time of my life but I threw myself into work. Trying not to think about it was hard I was angry all the time, taking it out on people that didn't deserve it but I pulled myself together and here I am". 

"Well its her loss. I bet she's kicking her self now, you're a great guy Nate. Any girl would be lucky to have you". 

"Well now that you've heard my soppy story I want to know yours". 

"I don't have one" I said because really I didn't. I had never been in a serious relationship never really had a boyfriend. "I've never had a boyfriend" I blurted out his eyes widening in shock. "What? How?" He asked. 

"You want my life story?" I teased 

"If it'll help me get to know you better then yeah start spilling" He winked moving slightly closer. "Well what do you want to know?" I asked. I loved how comfortable I felt around him. How we could just chill over coffee and things never got awkward. "How about you tell me what you want to tell me?". Hm I could lie, miss out all the shit that has happened in the past couple of weeks. Tell him stuff he wants to hear, what he'll believe but I wasn't going to do that. I trusted Nate I just hoped he trusted 

me too. 

"Okay here goes. My mom moved us away when I was 7, she didn't want me growing up in the clubhouse so she left when my dad got put in prison. I grew up in California where I went to school then university. I didn't have many friends in fact I didn't have any friends. I wasn't much of a talker, I wanted to get through school and university as fast as I could. I finally graduated a little younger than expected. Book smart" I smirked tapping the side of my head "For the life of me I couldn't get a job so being stuck in the house all day got me thinking, thinking about my dad. Where he was? What he was like? You could say I was curious. I did some research and let's just say the little memory I had of my father was destroyed with what I read. So I did the stupidest thing ever and came here looking for him. As you know I found him and let's just say what I read was true. He wasn't the man I thought he was. I also left without my mom knowing which caused her to come up here. She fell back in love with him the moment she laid eyes on him. I regretted coming here, the people were horrible well the girls were horrible. I knew I didn't belong in a place like that 

so I moved back home. Everything picked up, I got my dream job but just as it all was going great it all got ripped away from me".. 

Stopping I gazed at the wall in front of me. I hadn't really spoke to anyone about my life, in fact I hadn't spoke about it at all. There was good memories talking about it but there was also the bad ones that kept me up at night. 

"Hey if its making you upset you don't have to tell me" Grabbing my hand he knocked me out of my thoughts. Tasting the saltiness of my tears I hadn't realised I was crying. I guess this is what I needed, someone who would just sit and listen to me. Wiping away my tears I turned in my seat so I was facing him. "Sorry where was I? Oh yeah I had been working at the local hospital for about 8 and a half months. My life was going great and I didn't mind that my dad had someone check in on me every 3 months. Anyway this guy I worked with had been trying to get into my pants since I started but I wasn't interested in the slightest. Long story short he tried to rape me and if it wasn't for Blaze he would have" 

"Okay Ava I've heard enough. I don't like to see girls cry, especially you" Pulling me against his chest he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist "I don't need to know anymore". 

"You do" I sniffed pulling back from him. I had to tell him about Blaze. I had to tell him what had happened between us. 

"How about I get you a drink first?" Shaking my head yes he got to his feet taking our dirty cups with him. 

"Thank you" I said taking the glass of wine from him. I had no idea how I was going to say this but if I tell him maybe the guilty feeling will go away. He needed to know that what I'm about to say was the past and that it wouldn't happen again. 

"Blaze was the first person I met when I got here. I stopped at a little coffee shop and he introduced himself as I was about to get into my car" I left out the part where he intimidated me and how he made me forget how to speak. "Stopping a pretty girl in the street, that's my little brother alright" He chuckled. 

"He took my virginity" I whispered avoiding his gaze. He didn't need to know the build up and all the shit that came with it. If something was going to happen between us then he needed to know I had been with Blaze sexually. "He always had an eye for the pretty ones. Shame he got to you first". I don't regret sleeping with him, I never will. I trusted him and I still do don't ask me why because I know I shouldn't after everything he put me through. I know deep down he'll always be there for me. In fact every time I've needed him he's been there at the drop of a hat. 

"I'm only going to ask this once and please be honest with me". I knew what he was going to say before he said it. And it just made everything harder. I liked Nate, I 

liked spending time with him but even after all the things I've said about Blaze I couldn't stop the feelings I had for him. Either way I was screwed. Nate was sweet and caring, always making sure I was alright. Nate was the good guy, the one that would rather cut off his own foot that hurt anyone. Where as Blaze was the bad boy, the cocking one. It was hard to resist a bad boy with a good heart. 

"Do you have feelings for him?" 

"I- No..yes!- I don't know" I sighed running a hand through my hair. I was in two minds, I didn't know what to do. I should be running into Nates arms and forgetting all about Blaze because I bet right now he with some chick. Then why aren't you!!! When did this become so hard? Why couldn't I just forget about Blaze and move on? He frustrated the life out of me and yes sometimes I hated him but something in my heart wouldn't let him go. 

"I think I should go" Nate muttered 

"What? No don't leave" I said matching his actions as he stood up. Sighing he shoved his hands into his front pockets "Its obvious you don't know what you want right now Ava. And sorry for saying this but your head seems really messed up and if my brother has caused that then I apologise on his behalf. I really like you Ava and I think we get on well together but in all honesty I can't start falling for a girl that's in love with someone else" Bringing my hand up to his mouth he placed a kiss on my knuckles "I'll show myself out". 

The next morning I had done nothing except think about Nate. I couldn't get his face out of my head. He opened up to me about his past and I basically told him I had feelings for his brother. I was a shitty person that may have just lost the best thing that could have happened to me. Finishing off my coffee I put my mug in the sink and grabbed my keys and bag. Not that I really wanted to but I had to go to the clubhouse and get my dads keys for his house. If I was going back to work then I needed to gather my clothes and everything else I left there. 

Pushing open the door I walked through the clubhouse and into a party. It wasn't even noon and most of them were off there faces. How could people live like this?. 

"Ava honey Tommy has woke up" My mom grinned pulling me into a hug. Letting out a small breath I couldn't stop my own grin from forming "That's great news mom" Now I knew the reason why they were all shitfaced and happy. "I'm really happy he's okay" Pulling back I glanced around the clubhouse something I always did when I came here. I knew I was looking for him but he was no where to be seen. "As you can see they're all a little happy. They're celebrating the only way they know how" She laughed. Why was I bothered that he wasn't here? 

"I need to go speak to dad. I'll see you later" Kissing her cheek I moved on by her and towards my dad. "Did you hear the good news kiddo? He's going to be alright" The grin on my dads face was bigger than I've ever seen before. I knew Tommy meant a lot to him and for his sake and the clubs I'm glad he woke up. "I heard and I'm glad he's okay. Do you have a minute?". 

Closing the door to his office behind us he leant against the table pulling a smoke from his cut. "Everything alright?" He asked taking a long puff. "Can you give me the keys to your house? I need to collect my things". I asked. All I needed was for him to give me the keys and then I could leave. I was only hoping he didn't want to talk. I hadn't forgiven him but I wasn't going to ruin his good mood, especially not today. Digging his hand into the front of his jeans he pulled them out and handed them to me "I know you've wanted your own space for a while now but once Tommy's out your moms throwing a family dinner. Please say you'll be there A?". 

"I wouldn't miss it" I wanted to say I would be there for Tommy and that was it but again I didn't want to start an argument and ruin his mood. "Okay well I need to go. I have somewhere I need to be" Just as I turned to leave he called my name. "You ever need anything Ava I'm only a phone call away don't forget that". 

"I know" Turning back to face him I bit my lip. I could use this moment to find out more about Blaze and Nate. Surely my dad would tell me everything I wanted to know? "I know that look sweetheart. What's going on with you?" Taking a seat he gestured to the one next to him for me to sit. What was going on with me? Ha what wasn't going on with me was more like it. "Where's Blaze? I didn't see him when I came in". 

"He's taking care of business up state. Won't be back for a couple of weeks, why?" He asked giving me that look. You know the one I'm talking about! I bet there's a thousand thoughts running through his head right now. I was after all his little girl. Rolling my eyes at my own thoughts I bit my lip "Did you know he has a brother?" I asked as he leaned forward resting his elbows on the table. "How do you know he has a brother?". By the look on his face he wasn't happy I knew about Nate. I don't know why he wasn't happy Nate is the kind of guy he should want me to be with. "I did my research" I said making him raise his eyebrows. Dammit why couldn't I be better at lying? "I've met Nate" I whispered dropping my gaze so I could avoid his stare.