Where I Belong - R.V.Elliott

Chapter 44 

It was always peaceful out here when there was no one to bother you. Leaning back I placed my hands behind my head looking up at the stars. 

If I could be anywhere in the world right now..? 

"You seriously want to catch the cold?". 

I'd be a million miles away from him... 

"Why do you feel the need to sneak up on people?" 

"Bad habit darlin'. How you feeling?" He asked leaning against the front of my bonnet his back to me. "Let's just say I won't be turning to alcohol every time I've had a shitty day. I don't know why I put myself through it" I mumbled mostly to myself. "I wasn't talking about the alcohol sweets. How are you feeling with what happened today?". Great something I didn't want to talk about but had to. What was he expecting me to say? 'Yeah Blaze I'm doing great. I feel good after shooting someone in the head". "How do you think I'm feeling?" I asked moving down slightly towards him. "I can't stop thinking about it, I killed someone" I whispered low enough so only he could hear. I don't know how they did it. How could they go on living knowing they've killed another human being? How did they live with the guilt? Settling his hand on my knee he gave it a little squeeze. "First kill is always the worst. I can remember mine like it was yesterday. Believe it or not sweets but I never used to have the guts to pull the trigger. My first kill earned me my VP patch" He smiled as if playing the scene in his head. 

"Is that suppose to make me feel better?" I asked placing both feet on the ground "That the first kill is always the worse? I can't deal with knowing I've killed someone and here you are grinning like a fucking idiot. Honestly how do you look at your self everyday knowing the shit you do?" 

"I kill because I have to Ava not because I fucking want to. Don't sit here and think you are any better than the rest of us. You pulled that trigger darlin', you killed someone. Yeah you'll feel guilty for it now and who knows maybe you'll feel guilty for the rest of your life but what you need to remember is if you hadn't of pulled that trigger you would have been the one fucking dead. Now suck it the fuck up, get in there and welcome Tommy home" He growled the look on his face telling me I better not argue with him. 

"You're an asshole" I hissed storming away from him. 

"Ah there she is" Tommy grinned pushing both girls off his knee. "Come give you're uncle Tommy a hug". Rolling my eyes I gave him a quick hug before taking a seat 

next to him. 

"Its good to see you home Tommy, how are you?" I asked my eyes following Blaze as him and my dad disappeared down the hall. I wonder what they were up to now? "I'm great darlin' never felt better and its all because of you. I owe you big time Ava and just know uncle Tommy will always have your back". 

I always liked Tommy from the moment I met him and it was nice knowing I always had someone to talk to other then having the awkwardness I got around my dad when we talked. "What's going on with you darlin'? You don't seem your usual self" Tommy asked knocking me out of my thoughts. 

"I'm fine" I lied knowing he could see right through it. I wasn't going to bombard him with what had happened, especially not when my own dad didn't know. Hearing the roar of his voice before the heavy stomps of his boots on the floor I swallowed down my fear. I think he just found out. 

"Turn that fucking music off" He roared the full place growing quiet. Pacing around the clubhouse I watched as everyone watched my dad trying to figure out what he was going to do next. Why did he have to tell him tonight? Of all the nights he could have picked he picked the night Tommy got out. 

"Get your asses to the god damn table" He snapped his voice like venom causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. As everyone began to follow him I sunk deeper into my chair not moving my eyes of my dads back. 

"That means you too" He roared turning his head so he could look at me. "Lock this shit down until I say otherwise". 

Playing with the bottom of my t-shirt I chewed on the inside of my mouth. Being in a room filled with a dozen men was intimidating. I had been sat in the same position for over an hour watching and listening to what there next move was going to be. 

"How in gods name did this fucking happen?" My dad growled his fist banging of the table. "I knew it wasn't safe for you to be living alone but no you had to go and fucking do it anyway". Gripping the arms of the chair I was sitting on I grit my teeth to stop me from saying something I would later on regret. "Fuck" My dad hissed pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. 

"We'll handle it prez, we always do" Tommy pipped up my head turning so I could look at him. "She can lay low while we sort it out" He finished giving me a small nod of the head. 

"She killed there VP Tommy. They'll want her head on a stick. How the fuck can I bring Aubrey back when shits about to hit the fan". 

I killed there VP? 

"They don't know she killed him. They'll think I did it after the little present I sent them" Blaze smirked taking a long draw of his smoke. "We just need to prepare for what's coming. Ain't nothing we haven't handled before". 

"Yeah those little maggots seem to forget who Franko Mendez is and what he's capable of, what we're capable of" Cage grinned. 

"They won't retaliate for at least a couple of weeks. In the meantime I want an extra two bodies with Aubrey and Lily. All the women and children stay here and do not get to go out without someone with them. Get in contact with our guys in Canada and Mexico. If its going to go down the way I think it is then they need to be clued in. Keep your eyes and ears open and never ride alone". Hitting the gavel my dad grunted as everyone but Blaze got to there feet. 

"I'm not finished with you yet" My dad scowled as I got to my feet. Sinking back into the chair I bit my lower lip waiting for the blow that I knew was coming. I didn't know the guy I killed was Vagos VP but I knew I had just caused a lot of shit for my dad and the club. 

"Dad I'm sorry" I whispered ignoring Blazes stare. What else could I say? I couldn't exactly turn back time. "Never apologise for killing a bastard like that. He had it coming, Im just pissed you got to do it and not me" My dad sighed causing me to frown. 

"Bastards the reason I got put behind bars for 8 years. Don't you ever be sorry for what you did. I'll handle the shit that's coming our way. Your going with Blaze that plan still stands. Am I clear?" He asked my brain hurting with the amount of questions I wanted to ask. 

"How did he get you put in jail?" I asked my dad looking at Blaze before setting his eyes back on mine. Was he going to tell me? I knew he was put behind bars for grievous bodily harm but I wanted to know the full story. I knew never to believe everything I read. 

"I left him for dead, police caught me at the scene". 

Is that all I was getting? Watching the different emotions show on my dads face I knew what ever caused him to do it was personal. " Why did you do it?" I asked not 

sure if I wanted to know the answer. Watching his eyes fall into slits and his lip pull back into a silent snarl I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I never showed it well I tried not to but my dad scared the shit out of me. Whatever that guy had done still didn't sit well with him. 

"We should start heading out Prez before it gets any later. I'll fill the guys in up state just in case we need them to ride back with us" Blaze pipped up my head snapping in his direction. No I wanted to know what that guy had done that caused my dad to serve 8 years. "We'll stop by your house and grab some things before we go". 

"Make sure you call me when you get there and make sure you look after her". My dad said taking out another cigarette. So that was it? He wasn't going to tell me anything? 

"I'm not leaving until I know what happened" I said folding my arms over my chest. Running a hand through his hair he cursed loudly before getting to his feet. 

"Ava I don't-.." 

"I want to know" I snapped cutting him off before he could finish. 

"He took your mom" He roared slamming his fist into the wall causing a dent to appear. "He beat her to a pulp, I should have put a bullet in him when I had the chance". He growled. Gulping I blinked away my tears before they could fall. Remembering back to when I read those news articles online referring to my dad as a monster, he wasn't a monster. He was protecting the women he loved, the women I call mom. I didn't want to ask the question that was swimming around in my head but I had to know. "Did- did he touch her?" I stuttered my voice barely a whisper. 

"No darlin' he just fucked her up really badly. No one messes with my family especially my wife and my daughter. Now you know the reason I worry so much about you, why I always have one of the guys on you". Standing from my seat I walked the short distance between us and threw my arms around him pulling him in for a hug. Feeling his arms tighten around me I lay my head against his chest. This was the first time since I had been here that I felt I had my dad back. 

"Now I don't feel as guilty for killing the bastard" I snapped pulling back so I could clean my eyes. "I appreciate you looking after me and protecting me. I may not show it but you have to know I would probably be dead if it wasn't for you and the boys". It was true, I never admitted it to any one but I appreciated everything they did for me. "God knows what would have happened to me when I was in NewYork". Feeling my dad tense next to me I knew he knew what I was talking about. 

"Be safe and do what Blaze tells you to do" My dad grunted. Letting my arms drop I took a few steps away from him. "And stay away from the guys up there" He ordered pulling out his phone. "Get going before its to late. Blaze I want a word". Leaving them to it I walked out into the bar area and took a seat on the stool. 

"Ava" 

Turning to face Kelsey I cursed when I realised I had forgot all about helping her. My head had been all over the place after what had happened. "Kelsey I'm sorry I completely forgot" I sighed rubbing a hand over my face. "How have you been? I can make a few phone calls and get you in by Monday if that's what you want?". 

"I- I told him" She stuttered taking the empty seat beside me. Watching the tears fill in her eyes I knew it wasn't good news. "He- he said it wasn't his. Told me I was nothing but a biker whore and that the bastard child inside me could be anyone's" She croaked a sob falling from her lips. 

I didn't know what to say. For one I didn't think Tim had it in him to speak to anyone like that never mind a girl. Guess it was the quiet ones you had to look out for. Taking a hold of her hand I gave it a gentle squeeze. "I will help you Kelsey but you have to make the decision about what you want to do. I have to leave tonight but I can sort it before I go or we can sort it all when I'm back". How does someone make that decision? 

"I can wait until your back I'll just call some friends and see if I can stay with them for a few days. I can't stand to watch someone I love all over other girls". Glancing around the bar my eyes fell into slits when I saw a girl sat in Tims lap. Did he get patched in? He was usually behind the bar. Watching the broken girl beside me and then watching how Tim was acting made a new wave of anger curse through me. How does he know that childs not his? How can he say its not when he's been having sex with her? Balling my hands into fists I slipped of the bar stool about to march over there when Kelsey grabbed my arm. 

"Please don't" She whispered her eyes wandering over to Tim and then settling back onto me. "Please Ava I don't want everyone to know what's going on". Gritting my teeth I ran a hand through my hair as I caught site of my dad and Blaze coming out of his office. "Go to the hospital tomorrow and ask for Ally. Tell her I sent you, she has a spare room and that's where you'll be staying until I get back". 

"Ava you're helping me enough as it is. You don't need-.." 

"Yes I do so please go to the hospital tomorrow and ask for Ally" Squeezing her hand she walked away as Blaze approached me. 

"What was all that about?" He frowned leaning against the bar. 

"What were you and my dad talking about?" I challenged. 

"Nothing you need to worry about. So what was she wanting?".